One
You usually feel it before you can name it.
A missing boundary rarely shows up as a clear thought. It shows up as dread, tiredness, or a small flinch you have learned to talk yourself out of.
Things people notice first
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You see their name on your phone and something in your chest drops before you have read the message.
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You rehearse how to say no, decide it will cause too much trouble, and say yes instead.
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You do the favour and then feel resentful about it, which then makes you feel like a bad person.
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A simple no takes you four paragraphs, three reasons, and an apology.
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You are tired in a way that a weekend does not fix, and it is worst around specific people.
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You have started avoiding the person rather than saying the one sentence that would sort it out.
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The same conversation keeps happening. You have already asked for it to stop, more than once.
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When plans get cancelled, your first feeling is relief.
Why it is hard to notice
If you grew up managing someone else's mood, you got good at scanning. You know when a room is about to turn, and you adjust before anyone has to ask. That skill works. It is also the reason the cost stays invisible for years.
When anticipating other people is automatic, your own preference arrives late — often after you have already agreed. By the time you notice you did not want to, you are halfway through doing it.
So the signal is not usually a thought like "this is unfair". It is the flatness afterwards, or the relief when it is cancelled.
Naming the specific thing
"They don't respect me" is too big to act on. Narrow it until it fits in one sentence with a subject and a verb: calls after ten at night, comments about your weight at family dinners, work messages on Sunday, being asked to lend money every few months.
The specific version is the one you can say out loud. It is also the one that is hardest to argue with, because it is a fact rather than a judgement.